When toddlers are learning how to manage their emotions, they often need help in order to calm down and self-regulate after a tantrum or meltdown. A tantrum is usually associated with a behavior (e.g. not getting what they want), and a meltdown can often be sensory related (e.g. sensory overload to the point that the child is unable to cope). For children that have regulatory challenges, these toddler years can be additionally difficult. Here are some calming sensory strategies to aid in your little one learning to calm their body and mind down.
1) Have an area for your child to go to calm down. This is not meant to be a time-out spot, but a space for them to take a "break". I often recommend parents use a small tent or corner of the room, and fill it with pillows and comfortable blankets. Having soft music, and low lights can also help.
2) Have a sensory box full of tactile elements that your child can engage with. If your child is beginning to become upset, try to transition them to a squeeze ball or other toy that will grab their attention while allowing them to do something active (this especially is useful if your child wants to bite or bang their head during meltdowns). I have had parents use these in car rides, and allowing the child to choose one special toy to have during that time can help a child stay regulated during a normally difficult activity. This can also be helpful during transition times.
3) Teach your child how to give themselves a hug and take deep breaths. I will have children sit on their bottom, bring their knees to their chest and wrap their arms around their knees. They then squeeze and count to ten, then take a deep breath and relax. I have taught this to toddlers as young as 2 (depending on the cognitive level of the child), but usually have to remind them when to do this.
4) Deep pressure massage: light touch (or tickling) can be aversive to children, especially children with tactile sensitivities. However, a deep pressure massage (using the whole hand versus fingers) can be soothing. The weight and distribution of the pressure sends signals via a tract in the spinal cord to the brain to communicate the pressure, which is calming.
5) Lava lamps or sensory water bottles: These visual elements can be soothing for children as they watch the elements move around. Sensory water bottles are so easy to make: just take an empty water bottle, fill it with water and a few beads or toys. You can make it fancier by adding oil or dye- there are lots of links online to make these.
6) Weighted blankets: These are often touted as the "end all" solution, but these should not be recommended without the advice of an occupational therapist. For children who seek out
proprioceptive input (the sensory input our muscles, tendons and joints receive and communicate to the brain) or deep tactile pressure, these weighted elements can be useful in fulfilling the body's need and calming the nervous system down. It is important to choose the weight of the blanket based on your child's weight; often they will recommend no more than 10-15% of your child's weight (and supervision is important).
Note: It is not usually helpful to try and rationalize with your toddler while they are in the middle of a tantrum or meltdown. First of all, the portion of the brain that regulates rational and logical thought is not developed for years (and years!). Once your child has calmed down is the time to introduce talking about emotions and how to manage them, or the idea of "small problems" versus "big problems" and how we respond to them differently.
Please share if you have sensory strategies that have helped your little ones self-regulate!
*Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash
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